N is for Numptybollocks
A badge I wear with pride. No, not pride, the other one…erm…erm…shame! That’s the chap. A badge I wear with shame. Numfar! Do the dance of shame! I often find myself doing the dance of shame – it’s a slow,…
Steven
M is for Mumpsimus
Nope, not an unused character from the Harry Potter books, or a new Star Wars baddy in the upcoming trilogy…mumpsimus is actually when some cantankerous git decides they’re going to keep doing something the wrong way, even though some kind…
L is for La la la, I’m not listening!
LA LA LA LA!! I’m not listening. I can’t hear you! You can’t tell me what to do! LA LA LA! I can’t hear, but I bet I have an angelic singing voice. *removes hands* (from ears, not from wrists)…
K is for Kenophobia
I know, right? Those Ken dolls are creepy as fuck, with their cold, dead eyes and their cold, dead hair, and their cold…oh wait, that’s not what kenophobia is? *consults dictionary* Oh…ohhhh! That’s better for this post anyway – I…
J is for Jazz hands
When was the last time you recommended a book by saying any of the following? . “Boy, the grammar was spot on – what a read!” “Most of the dialogue was just like real life.” “There were literally no plot…
I is for Indecent exposure
They say any exposure is good exposure. Try telling that to the dude who carved his novel, chapter by chapter, into those dead hooker’s chests *is handed urgent note* he sold HOW many copies?! NOTE TO SELF: Find some hookers…
H is for Hnnnngghh!
Sometimes…*hnng*…you…*squeeze*…have…*eee*…to…*fuckfuckfuck*…force…*pinch*…words…*eep*…out! *plop* Ahhhhhhhh – that’s better. There are days when the words do not want to come out. At all. But that’s no excuse not to try. You might feel more bunged up than a fat man with a cheese…
G is for Graphomania vs. Graphophobia
. Graphomania (a.k.a scribomania) is ‘a compulsive urge to write’. We’ve all been there – usually it’s at 3am when inspiration strikes and the compulsion isn’t strong enough to rouse up from sleepy-snoozy-time – but any other time than that…
F is for Floccinaucinihilipilification
. floc-ci-nau-ci-ni-hil-i-pil-i-fi-ca-tion [flok-suh-naw-suh-nahy-hil-uh-pil-uh-fi-key-shuh n] noun: Rare. the estimation of something as valueless (encountered mainly as an example of one of the longest words in the English language). origin: 1735–45; < Latin floccī + naucī + nihilī + pilī all meaning…